


Conspiracy Friendship

by enbyred



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alya Césaire Knows, Alya Césaire Ships It, Conspiracy Theories, Dork Adrien Agreste, Gabriel's a bad parent, Gen, Humor, Ladybug history, Nathalie did not sign up for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-29 01:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15062390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyred/pseuds/enbyred
Summary: Adrien employs Alya's help when he decides to try to figure out Ladybug's identity. Everything's all fun and games until someone gets Akumatized.





	1. Chapter 1

“ALYA!” Adrien ran into the classroom and slid into the empty seat beside his friend, slamming a pile of papers down on the desk. “I need your help.”

She blinked at him in surprise. “Morning.” Gesturing to the stack, she questioned, “Whatcha got there?”

Sifting through the newspaper clippings, pages of scribbled notes, and pictures of people Alya didn’t recognize, Adrien lowered his voice. “I need your help to figure out who Ladybug is. I’ve got information, but you’re better at figuring these things out than I am.” He pushed a page of notes toward her.

Suddenly interested, she snatched the notes from him and scanned them. “How did you find this out? And since when have you been a Ladybug theorist?”

“Since day one,” he replied, pulling a newspaper clipping out and scrutinizing it. “My father disapproves of what Ladybug and Chat Noir do, so I try not to talk about it, but I follow the Ladyblog and theorize. As for how I got the info, I was out without permission last night and I heard Ladybug and Chat Noir talking on a roof at the end of their patrol.”

Alya raised a skeptical eyebrow. “How in the world did you hear them?” She leaned toward him, adjusting her glasses.

“I have really good hearing.”

“Bullshit.”

“Alright, you got me, I’m Chat Noir, and Ladybug told me these things directly.”

Alya snorted. “Sure, the model with a bodyguard is a leather-clad cat vigilante. Whatever.” She placed the notes back on top of the stack. “We can’t discuss this here. Text me and we’ll theorize this weekend.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Adrien shoved the papers back into his bag and took his own seat as Nino walked in and started to recap his late night of music-writing. That certainly explained why he was later than usual. As for Marinette’s empty seat, none of them felt the need to question why the Lateness Extraordinaire was not yet present.

- - -

**Adrien:** _When and where should we discuss?_

**Alya:** _I’d say my house, but my sisters would find a way to overhear and tell the whole world who Ladybug is._

**Adrien:** _I’ll ask Nathalie if you can come over tonight._

- - -

Pulling out his tablet and opening his schedule, Adrien knocked on the door of Nathalie’s office. At her monotone “Come in,” he quietly opened the door and stepped inside, not speaking while her eyes remained on the screen, typing furiously. She muttered for him to wait a moment while she finished what she was doing.

Nathalie turned her attention to him. “Hello, Adrien. What can I do for you?”

He handed her the tablet and launched into his pitch. “I’d like to have my friend Alya over tonight. I don’t have anything on my schedule until tomorrow, and I did most of my homework at school. May I invite her over?”

Nathalie pulled up his father’s schedule on her computer and compared them. Adrien wrung his hands in anticipation of the inevitable rejection of the idea. She turned the computer screen toward him and pointed to a purple box. “I scheduled for your father to spend time with you for dinner tonight. Do you want me to ask him if Miss Cesaire can join, or would you like to?” She looked up at him with a genuine support that was rare to see from her.

Brightening, Adrien replied, “Could you come with me? I’d like to ask, but I know that you can convince him better than I can.”

She nodded and pressed the intercom, quickly informing her employer “Your son and I are coming in to speak with you.” Before he had the chance to reply, Nathalie stood and opened the door to Gabriel’s office, ushering Adrien in first.

“Just a moment,” Gabriel told them, focusing closely on a set of accessories for his new line. He straightened, looking at the two. “What is it?”

Adrien stepped forward, clasping his hands behind his back. “Well, Father, uh...Nathalie said that I could have my friend Alya over tonight, since I don’t have any responsibilities until tomorrow. I was just wondering...if Alya could join us for dinner?”

Surprised, Gabriel pulled up his own schedule and raised his eyebrows in surprise at the box he clearly had not placed himself. “Nathalie, what do you think of this ‘friend’ of Adrien’s?”

Stepping forward next to Adrien, she opened Alya’s file on her tablet, making Adrien sigh frustratedly, just quietly enough that his father couldn’t hear. Nathalie informed Gabriel, “Miss Cesaire is an excellent student, is highly motivated in clubs, and is an aspiring journalist. She has been shown to be a good influence on Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Nino Lahiffe. She’s responsible and driven, and helps friends to achieve their goals.” Adrien caught a glimpse of Alya’s file, describing her as “impulsive, reckless, and antagonistic.” He smiled, glad that Nathalie was advocating for Alya.

Gabriel nodded. “Very well. If Nathalie approves, then I assume you do not have any responsibilities for the rest of the day, and you have your homework under control. I only would like to know one thing.” Narrowing his eyes, he asked, “Are you seeing Miss Cesaire?”

Taken aback, Adrien shook his head. Such an interpretation of his friendship hadn’t crossed his mind. “No, Father. Alya has a boyfriend--they’re in a very good, stable relationship--and I’m not interested in her. We’re just friends.”

Humming doubtfully, Gabriel closed his schedule and nodded again. “Very well, you may invite your friend. I will be meeting her tonight, but you are not required to have dinner with me.” He cast a glare at Nathalie that did not go unnoticed by her or Adrien. “We will have dinner together another time.”

Adrien grinned, shifting his gaze between the two adults. “Thank you Father, thank you Nathalie!” He ran from the room, whipping out his phone to text Alya that the Agreste house was green-lit for theorizing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This might as well be an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Alya didn't have the heart to tell Marinette why she couldn't hang out that night. What could she possibly say? “I was invited to sleep over at your crush's house so we could over think the smallest clues to who Ladybug is”? She would feel so betrayed. While her friendship with Adrien wasn't a crime, and Mari knew how loyal she was to Nino, there would be a part of her that wouldn't forgive this. Best to wait until Marinette and Adrien started dating.

Shaking thoughts of Marinette’s possible jealousy from her mind, Alya shoved a set of clothes into the bottom of her backpack and stuffed the rest with a myriad of binders and folders containing clues to Ladybug. She rushed out of her room and told her dad that she would be gone for the night, kissed him goodbye, and excitedly ran out of the house. The Agreste’s wasn’t far. She would be there in a matter of minutes.

Upon reaching the gates, Alya rang the doorbell and refused to flinch when a camera shoved itself in her face. She kept her cool and waved with a smile.

“I’m here to hang out with Adrien.”

The camera retracted and the gates opened. Alya stalked across the courtyard as the grand front doors opened and Nathalie Sancoeur stood to the side.

“Hello, Miss Cesaire,” Nathalie greeted her. “Adrien is on his way downstairs--I called him.”

“Thanks,” Alya said as she stepped inside. She looked around the foyer while Nathalie closed the doors. The only other time she’d been to Adrien’s house was when the Bubbler had threatened her to show up. It felt a lot colder sans Akuma, with the black and white symmetry, all tile and marble, and right in the middle of it all a giant portrait of Gabriel and a miserable- looking Adrien. Her heart sank. The boy filled with so much sunshine was forced to live in a cold black and white world.

As if to provide the contrast Alya needed, she heard a pair of running feet growing closer. From the hallway to the right of the portrait, Adrien appeared, grinning, and slid to a stop in his socks. He waved his friend over and called, “Alya! Come on! Thanks, Nathalie!”

Alya offered another quick thanks to Nathalie, who replied with a nod, and ran to join Adrien. Before she reached the top step, he had turned and bolted, expertly running across the marble floor in his socks, while Alya hoped that her sneakers had enough tread to not slip as she trailed him.

He threw his door open and Alya’s jaw dropped as she looked around. On his three computer screens were the Ladyblog, a video of official news footage, and an article with small text that was obviously a ridiculous length. Above the screens was a poster of Ladybug in an action pose. Newspaper clippings, notes, and pictures were spread on a bulletin board sitting on the floor with string and pins connecting points. To top it off, on his TV, the brand-new Ladybug anime was playing.

“Wow. You’re serious about this,” was all Alya could say.

With a satisfied smile, Adrien said, “You have no idea. Don’t tell my father.”

Alya rolled her eyes and removed her backpack, sitting cross-legged in front of the bulletin board spread. As she pulled her own things from her bag, she replied, “Of course not. Who do you think I am?”

Adrien plopped next to her and helped fill in the gaps with her things. They meticulously compared clippings and notes to find the proper places for new information. Her method was precise, but so was his. With every piece connected to another point, Adrien took color-coded string and pinned it to what it related to, the color of the string telling how they related. Both teenagers mentally confirmed with themselves that they had found the right partner for theorizing.

Twenty minutes passed of organizing information. The majority of what they had was of present Ladybug, though a few pieces were Ladybugs in the past they’d both been able to find. The teenagers unpacked Alya’s bag and finished connecting points with the pins and string. Their masterpiece tripled in size before they finally stepped back to admire it.

“Okay.” Adrien grabbed some blue string and pinned it between two pieces of information. “Here’s Ladybug from the seventies, as well as a grainy photograph dated 1941. The one from the seventies looks like a teenage boy. But the picture from the forties looks almost just like Ladybug today, pigtails and all. She looks like Bridgette.” He nodded toward the TV, where fictional Bridgette Cheng was plotting how to ask out Felix again.

Alya nodded. “She’s even got the ribbons. She could be the same Ladybug, given the immortality theory. But look.” She pointed to the Chat Noir in the photo, with ‘Abbe Pierre’ written next to him. “He was confirmed to be Chat Noir, and he died in two thousand seven. He was also pretty damn tall, and that Ladybug is almost his height. Our Ladybug is my height. I don’t think Ladybug is immortal, like she wants us to think. She’s brand new. Do you think Chat Noir and Ladybug are the same age?” She looked at him expectantly.

 _Think of something,_ Adrien told himself. “Uh, probably? I’ve, uh, talked to Chat Noir after he and Ladybug saved me once, and he _did_ mention getting homework done.” Nice.

“Let me check something.” Alya stood and took the computer chair and pulled up a new tab to google ‘voice analysis’ (not mentioning that she definitely noticed that the ‘article’ was from Archive of Our Own). She opened a video she’d recorded of a Ladybug interview from her phone and allowed the analyzer to listen to her voice. After a few moments, some general information popped up. Adrien leaned closer to the screen, hand on the back of the chair, and read the facts aloud.

“Female, thirteen to fifteen years old. Experiencing stress--duh, she just had a battle and only had a minute left before she detransformed--native Parisian.”

Pushing herself away from the computer, she grinned. “This is good. Her being our age, _and_ having our history book supports that she goes to our school, and is in our year.” She hopped up and scribbled a new note, connecting it to her notes about the history book.

Adrien’s mind was buzzing. Ladybug kept denying the possibility of knowing each other in real life. She couldn’t guess too easily that he was Chat Noir, since he had to cover his tracks carefully to keep his father from finding out. But she didn’t realize how many clues she had left behind.

“Let’s start small,” Alya decided, tapping her pen and staring at the notes. “I theorized right before the Pharaoh attack that Ladybug was in our class, and whoever didn’t have their history book that day was Ladybug. Weirdly enough,” she looked intently at Adrien, “Marinette didn’t have her book that day. She denied it, but she wasn’t the only one missing her book.”

Thinking back, Adrien tried to remember. His eyes widened. “Alix and Nathanael didn’t have theirs either.”

“Exactly!”

Adrien took the computer seat and looked for footage of each Akuma. “The issue is that Ladybug was present for both Akumas.” He skimmed through videos.

“Timebreaker had time travel,” Alya reminded him, starting to pace. “There were two Ladybugs because of time travel. Alix could have utilized that somehow to be Ladybug _and_ Timebreaker. But look.” She took over control of the computer, shoving Adrien out of the way, and pulled up Evillustrator footage from the Ladyblog. “Marinette is there with Nathanael. And Chat Noir worked alone that night.”

He shook his head. “Ladybug showed up when Nath realized he’d been tricked and went to attack Chloe.”

Crossing her arms, Alya demanded, “How do _you_ know? You seem to have a lot of knowledge of things only Ladybug and Chat Noir would know.” Adrien felt himself blanch as she leaned toward him. “For all I know, maybe _you’re_ Ladybug.”

He laughed, partly from extreme relief, and partly from the unexpected accusation. “Why would I ask for your help figuring out who she is if I’m her? I don’t have pierced ears, and Ladybug’s saved me more than once.” He stuck his hand in his pocket and twisted his ring off his finger. “And Chloe told me that Ladybug showed up. Chloe was there.” Nice save.

“You’re right,” Alya hummed. “So it’s got to be Marinette or Alix, if Ladybug is in our class.”

Marinette or Alix. It was strange to think that the girl he worked with every day could be sarcastic, bored Alix, or clumsy Marinette. He had never seen either of them as a Ladybug, but perhaps he had been imagining her too much as an unattainable mystery.

“Why do you want to know who Ladybug is, anyway?” Alya asked. “Like, I’m into superheroes and I’m totally crushing on her. What about you?”

“I’m in love with her.” Shoot. He didn’t mean to let that slip. Figure out an excuse… “She’s saved me and my father more than once. She came over one night after an Akuma was after me.” That part was true. “She meant to just take a detour from her patrol, but she stayed for a while. We talked for a long time, she demolished me in _Ultimate Mecha Strike_ …” He couldn’t stop himself from sighing and staring out his window with a lovesick smile.

Alya let out a low whistle. “You’ve got it bad.”

He nodded absently, only coming back to reality when a knock sounded on his door. As he hopped up and cracked the door open to talk to Nathalie, Alya took the opportunity to call Marinette.

“Hey Alya,” Marinette greeted after the second ring. “What’s up?”

“No time to explain context,” Alya insisted before asking, “Are you Ladybug?”

Marinette’s shriek of “ _WHAT?_ ” followed by stammered denies of the question were enough for Alya to roll her eyes and mentally add it to her list of evidence pointing to her friend.

“Mari, I’m not asking for secret identity purposes, I’m asking because I was talking to Adrien today and he said he’s in love with Ladybug, so you had _better_ be Ladybug because I’ll be damned if that boy likes someone who isn’t you.”

The line was quiet for a moment. Alya overheard Adrien refusing to stop what they were doing to talk with his father. He still hadn’t opened the door all the way. She assumed it was because of all the Ladybug paraphernalia.

“Thanks for telling me,” Marinette said in a much calmer voice than Alya had expected. “Guess there’s nothing I can do, then, since he likes Ladybug.”

Alya growled into her phone, “You better not give up on this boy, because you bet your ass I talk you up every time I’m around him, and you not dating him means I’ve failed as a wingman. I gotta go, my sisters are trying to get into trouble. Later!”

It wasn’t _nice_ to lie to Marinette about what she was doing, but with Adrien closing the door from talking to Nathalie, she would hear his voice within seconds and the accusations and heartbreak would start. The best thing about her brief conversation was noting Marinette’s reaction to finding out that Adrien was in love with Ladybug. There were no tears. No sense of heartbreak and betrayal. She seemed fine with it. Maybe even a little excited. Either it was because she felt that Ladybug was a worthy person to whom to lose Adrien, or because Marinette Dupain-Cheng was Ladybug. Alya was one step closer to finding out Ladybug’s identity. Adrien wasn’t.

Adrien trotted back into the room after finishing talking to Nathalie. He took his computer again and started looking for any class records he could find to help them determine the likelihood of Ladybug being someone in another class.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops, there's an Akuma.

“What do you mean, he said no?” Gabriel asked dangerously. 

Nathalie inhaled and explained, “Adrien would not open his door more than a few inches, and refused to bring Miss Cesaire to meet you. He said they were doing something important, and asked me to have dinner brought up to them.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut. “And you're positive they're not working on a school project?”

“I see no conceivable reason for him to need to hide schoolwork from us, Sir.”

Gabriel grumbled something about being right about not trusting anyone enough for Adrien to have friends over. With new determination, he fixed his eyes on Nathalie. “You _will_ get him out of his room. Otherwise, I have to assume the worst and place stricter regulations on him. And on _you_ , since you were the one to approve Miss Cesaire visiting. Don't think I didn’t see her file, and what you so helpfully omitted when telling me that it was fine to have her over.”

Suppressing her anger, Nathalie reminded him, “With all due respect, Mr. Agreste, it's not healthy for Adrien to keep him isolated. He will rebel in much greater ways than wanting some privacy with his friend, whether something is going on or not. You must give the boy some freedom. If you don't, things will only get worse.”

He glared at her with icy blue eyes. “I did not hire you for you to tell me how to raise my son.”

It wasn't worth it to hold her opinions back. “Then perhaps my main role as your assistant shouldn't be 'babysitter,’ Sir. He's fourteen. He doesn't need a babysitter, he needs friends. And if I am not properly compensated, then he won't have a babysitter anymore and you'll have no choice but to give him more freedom.” She stared at him, expression as innocent as could be.

Gabriel stared back. He was not one to back down easily. “A raise is out of the question. Now go tell my son that if he does not come out of his room, then Miss Cesaire will promptly be sent home.”

“No.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Nathalie, and she kept her neutral mask carefully in place. Still, something clicked within him and he allowed himself a smile, turning his back to Nathalie without another word. There was only a moment of confusion before Nathalie realized what he was doing as he approached the painting of Emilie.

“Don't you  dare . This was _ not _ in my contract.” He pressed the buttons and fell through the chute. Crying out in rage, Nathalie approached the painting and nearly pressed the buttons to enter his lair herself. Hands hovering above the points, she stopped and reconsidered, stepping back and taking a deep breath. If she didn't let herself feel negatively, he had no pull on her. She smoothed her hair and stiffly returned to her desk to sort through emails. Unfortunately, with all the emails addressed to her employer that he would never see, her hands began trembling in anger. Not only was she a babysitter for a boy who needed freedom, but she was a babysitter for a forty-year-old man who decided that abusing magic was the best way to retrieve his missing wife.

A purple butterfly fluttered into her vision. She glared at it, but made up her mind. Mr. Agreste would not be getting off easily from this. She held her tablet out and allowed the Akuma to absorb into it.

- - -

“Claudine couldn't possibly be Ladybug!” Alya insisted. “I have like three Ladybug videos where she's in the background!”

Adrien pointed to the picture of the girl in another class. “Those are _ Ladybug _ earrings! She has Ladybug's miraculous, and you think she's not her?”

“Adrien, how stupid do you think this magic is? The earrings aren't going to look the same when she's detransformed! Do you think Chat Noir goes around his daily life with a cat ring?”

Remembering the silver ring in his pocket, Adrien stopped. “Oh. You're right. There's no way Claudine is Ladybug.” He closed Photoshop, where he had put a mask on a picture of Claudine.

Alya sighed, relieved that he finally got it through his head. She looked at their prospects and said, “So we're down to Alix, Marinette, Oscar, and Louise.” She turned to her partner in crime. “How'll you feel if the love of your life is Oscar?”

Without missing a beat, Adrien replied, “I'll hope he's bi too.”

Nodding, Alya accepted his answer with “Fair enough. Glad you feel safe enough with me to tell me that.”

He sent her a thumbs-up. “You know it.”

Just as they were about to try to eliminate another classmate from being possible Ladybugs, the door burst open, flying off its hinges. The teenagers jumped as an Akuma victim came into the room and flashed them a malicious smile. She wore torn pants with a tight shirt with 'Badsitter’ written on it like a death metal band, and a leather biker jacket. She carried a tablet, and her dark hair was disheveled, but the red streak Adrien would have recognized anywhere remained.

“Nathalie?” he exclaimed. He didn't realize that his turning her away made her so upset. Maybe something had happened between her and his father. Whatever it was, this couldn't be good.

Brandishing her tablet, she replied, “Nathalie can't come to the phone right now. It's just Badsitter now.”

Hawk Moth really needed to work on Akuma names.

Badsitter typed on her tablet, and textbooks materialized in the air, shooting toward the windows and shattering them. She pointed to it and said, “According to my schedule from your father, it's time for you to do whatever you want.” The teenagers scrambled to the window and Adrien opened the case containing his emergency rope ladder, tossing it down and making sure that Alya got out first. He followed shortly behind her.

Hawk Moth’s symbol appeared in front of her eyes as he told her, “Badsitter, you are not to let Adrien out of your sight. If any harm comes to him, I will take away your powers.”

She scoffed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Hawk Moth, I know your powers as well as you do, and we both know that your empty threats won't work on me. I'll get you the miraculous, but you can't stop me from freeing your son from tyranny.”

- - -

“Alya!” Adrien caught her sleeve and pulled her to a stop when they reached the outside of the gates around the back of the house. “We need to hide. Can we go to your house?” He had no intention of going to her house.

She looked at him as though he had three heads. “Are you kidding?” Pulling out her phone, she grinned. “I need footage of this for the Ladyblog.  _ And _ I might get more information for us to figure out who Ladybug is!” As she ran back toward the house, she shouted, “You get to safety! I’ll see you after it’s fixed!”

He sighed as he lost track of her and dialed Nino’s number. The moment Nino picked up, he quickly explained, “If my father asks if you know where I am, I’m hiding at your house from the Akuma. But  _ Nathalie _ was Akumatized, and she’s after me or my father. I need to help.”

“You know I got you dude,” Nino replied. “But are you sure you should be doing that? You shouldn’t be throwing yourself at danger. Let Ladybug and Chat Noir handle it.”

“I will,” Adrien insisted. “And it’ll be okay when Ladybug sets everything back. I’ll be fine. You’re the best!” He hung up abruptly and looked around to make sure no one was around before slipping his ring back on and saying “Claws out.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know how this turned into an Akuma fic, but it did.

Alya had been strange over the phone, and Marinette was still trying to figure out what the heck she had meant. Did Alya know that she was Ladybug? And how did she get Adrien to say that he was in love with Ladybug? And how was Marinette supposed to deal with this new information of his crush? Would she have to give up as Marinette? Or altogether? Was it worth it to know that he liked her, but he only liked her when she was wearing the mask? She could reveal her identity. She quickly shook that thought from her mind.

Her phone vibrated, making Marinette jump violently and nearly drop it off her lofted bed. It was Alya again.

“Look, Alya, I'm really not in the mood to--”

“No time!” Alya exclaimed. “There's an Akuma attack at the Agreste's, and my battery is about to die. Get over here  _ now _ so I can record it!”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “I'll be there soon.” She hung up and tossed her phone aside so it wouldn't get caught in her transformation, saying “Spots on.” She grabbed her phone again and left through the skylight, swinging over buildings.

She scanned the Agreste home for her friend and quickly spotted her running outside from a window to the front doors. Ladybug swung down and landed next to Alya, holding the phone out.

“I ran into Marinette on the way here,” she lied. “She asked me to give this to you. But please, stay out of harm's way! Did you see Chat Noir yet?” Looking over her shoulder, Ladybug tried to assess any presence of her partner.

“He's inside,” Alya replied. “Boy got here _ fast _ . If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was here before the attack.”

Nodding, Ladybug quickly thanked Alya and ran through the front doors, looking for any trail of damage to follow. She didn’t have to look long, as Chat Noir was cautiously walking backwards as he dodged a rain of random items.

“Now, Ms. Sancoeur,” Chat Noir said hesitantly, “I’m sure we can work this out like adults--professionals, even. There’s no need for this.”

Trying to get a hold of his arm, Badsitter replied, “Leave that to the  _ actual adults _ . You need to be free from responsibility--free from that miraculous! And once I’ve taken it, I’ll go free Adrien from his father!”

“I  _ really _ don’t think that’s necessary!” Chat Noir insisted, hopping down the stairs to join Ladybug. “Thanks for getting here so fast, My Lady. Mr. Agreste’s assistant was Akumatized because she was being told to keep tight reins on Adrien. Now she wants to free all children from adult restrictions. I’m not sure exactly how, but I’m hoping it’s a Bubbler situation and not a murder situation.”

“Let’s hope,” Ladybug muttered, spinning her yoyo and sticking close to Chat Noir. “What are her powers?”

As the words left her lips, a sudden downpour of copies of her yoyo and his staff buried them, knocking them off their feet. They heard Badsitter cackling as she ran past them and out of the Agreste mansion.

“That, apparently,” Chat groaned as he struggled to get himself out from the mountain of red and black. “Crap, how are we supposed to get out of this?” He clawed at the weapons, but it was impossible to move through them.

“We’re not supposed to,” Ladybug replied, attempting the same. She grabbed Chat and tried to toss her yoyo up in hopes that it could break through the items. When it didn’t, she insisted, “Put your staff vertical and extend it.” It took him a moment to get it situated, but when he did extend his staff, they launched into the air, leaving behind the copies of the weapons. The two bolted from the mansion, hearing Alya call after them as they chased down Badsitter.

- - -

Badsitter heard through a window a father ordering his son to wash the dishes. With a few taps of her tablet, a crash resounded in the house of the father being buried in dirty dishes, giving the child an escape. A few moments later, a mother scolded her daughter for skateboarding in the street before getting encased in skateboards. Badsitter snatched one off the pile and high-fived the girl as she skated away to right more injustices against children. A nanny was sternly telling a young boy that they had to get home so he could to his homework, and before he could finish protesting, textbooks and pencils dropped down on top of her. As Badsitter skateboarded through the city, children cheered and followed behind her, glad to be free of responsibility. With a single glare, she made them all scatter. She wasn’t spending her day taking care of the kids she’d just freed.

As she expected would happen eventually, a staff extended in front of her, stopping her skateboard and nearly sending her tumbling to the ground. She caught herself just as Ladybug and Chat Noir leaped in front of her. Badsitter rolled her eyes and kicked her skateboard up under her arm.

“Aw, unsupervised kids come to tell me that I shouldn’t let other kids be unsupervised?” She shoved some of her wild hair out of her face. “Don’t tell me I gotta take your stuff and get rid of you, too. I’d hate to give you the same treatment I give adults.”

As Chat Noir began saying, “ _ You already buried us _ ,” Ladybug stepped in front of him and shouted, “Having responsibilities isn’t a bad thing! It helps you grow as a person!”

Badsitter rolled her eyes. “Ohh, there she goes, Little Miss Protector giving her life lesson of the day. Give it a rest.” She dropped the skateboard and flipped through items on her tablet, deciding what to bury Ladybug under this time. She dodged easily as the red yoyo flew past her, aimed at her tablet. “Why don’t you let your hair down some, Ladybubs?” She selected ‘hair ribbons,’ and a horde of red ribbons began falling. She skated away before she could see the result.

- - -

A shadow formed above Ladybug’s head, and before she could even look up to see what it was, she was tackled out of the way. Getting to her feet, she threw her yoyo toward the Akuma again, which got quickly deflected, Badsitter swatting it away with her tablet without even looking. Groaning, Ladybug turned her attention to the space she had just occupied, now overrun with red hair ribbons, Chat Noir buried from the waist down. He looked up at her helplessly, ears folding back.

“Well, the Akuma is definitely in her tablet,” Ladybug muttered, grabbing her partner’s hands and dragging him free. “But this is one of the weirdest villains we’ve fought so far.”

When he stood, Chat rolled his shoulder and commented, “No weirder than the pop star. Frightengale? She was  _ weird _ .”

Ladybug was about to make a joke about ‘Remember how I almost played myself in her music video?’ and quickly bit her tongue.

Just as quickly as she squashed that urge, Chat Noir casually told her, “I was in her music video.” With a cheeky grin, he said, “But don’t go looking through the video trying to figure out who I am, Bugaboo.” He winked and extended his staff to vault toward Badsitter.

It took Ladybug a few moments to shake herself out of her daze and toss her yoyo to follow him.  _ Stupid cat, _ she thought defensively.  _ I’m not supposed to know anything about you. _ But…Chat Noir was in the music video with her. He should have known that saying that would make it take over every portion of her brain, and that simply was not fair at all. She would have to strike back at the appropriate time.

“Hurry  _ up _ , Ladybug!” Chat shouted when she got close enough. “Badsitter’s gonna bury Mayor Bourgeois in his daughter’s crap at this rate!” He waved for her to get there faster.

Landing next to him, Ladybug asked, “Do  _ you  _ have a plan? We can’t just go for a full frontal assault, she’ll bury us again, and those piles she makes are near impossible to get out of.”

He shrugged, at a loss. “You’re the ideas person, I’m the attack-while-telling-bad-jokes person.”

“Don’t say that,” she muttered, shoving his shoulder. “You know I’d be lost without you. Should I just use Lucky Charm? Or should I wait, do you think?” She moved to stand against the wall of the nearby building to hide as she watched Badsitter fight with her tablet after sending a rain of watering cans on an unfortunate gardener. A police officer was giving her a dirty look, waiting for the opportunity to arrest her. However, after thirty seconds passed, she gave a malicious grin and he was soon writhing under a pile of police badges.

“I think we’ve still got a lot to try before resorting to our powers,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’d be easy to take the skateboard away from her, but it barely takes three seconds for her to send things from the sky wherever we are. And if we let ourselves get buried again, she won’t just skate by again--she’ll take our miraculous.”

Having gained new knowledge from her observation, Ladybug pulled Chat Noir close. “I know what to do. But I need you to be bait.”

- - -

Story of his life. The plan got significantly weirder when Ladybug called for her lucky charm--a magnet as tall as he was. She insisted that his part of the plan should stay the same, so he sighed and did what he was told, stepping out from their hiding place and extending his staff to knock her tablet from her hands. She scrambled and quickly caught it, whipping around to glare at him, and sent staffs falling on him without missing a beat.

In the thirty seconds before the next time Badsitter was able to attack, Ladybug revealed her presence, and just as the villain leaped on her skateboard to flee, the hero turned the magnet toward her. The skateboard flew out from under her feet and she landed unceremoniously on her rear. With a cry of “Cataclysm!” the pile of staffs disintegrated, and Batsitter panickedly tapped at her tablet. She looked down at it in horror.

“What did you do?” she shrieked, stabbing the screen with angry fingers. “WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Chat Noir chuckled and sauntered up to her, plucking the tablet from the distraught villain’s hands. “Don’t you know that magnets disrupt technology? I’d better tell Mister Agreste that his assistant is clueless about tech.” He tossed the tablet to Ladybug, who broke it over her knee and caught the purple butterfly. After Miraculous Ladybug returned everything to normal and adults were no longer covered in the responsibilities of children, the pair of heroes helped Nathalie Sancoeur to her feet.

Instead of normal post-Akumatization confusion, she sighed and said, “If you don’t take down Hawk Moth soon, then I will.”

Chat Noir sputtered for a moment while Ladybug stood speechless. He found his voice and squeaked, “Do you...need a lift back to the Agreste mansion?”

She eyed the teenagers suspiciously before extracting her phone. “Yes, and I’m not traveling by child. I’ll call for the driver, thank you.”

It seemed the post-Akumatization confusion hit Ladybug and Chat Noir instead of Nathalie. It was like she had expected to be Akumatized. They waved awkwardly to her and started off in the same direction.

“Always lovely working with you, My Lady,” Chat Noir said as he started to divert his path from hers before quickly being jerked to a halt by a yoyo string around his middle. He gave her a confused look.

Ladybug stared at the ground for a moment before quietly saying, “My favorite color is pink. It’s...only fair, since you told me you were in the music video.” Looking him in the eye, she smiled. “Now we both know something about each other.” She retracted her yoyo and waved. “See you later, Kitty!”

He watched her swing away. Pink. Smiling to himself, he thought about how sweet it was that the favorite color of the strongest girl he knew was so soft and gentle.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These children are goofs.

“I swear to you, she said her favorite color is pink!”

“ _How_ are you getting this information when I couldn’t even get footage?”

“The fight happened next to Nino’s, I was right there when they were leaving!”

“The fight was in front of Town Hall, you moron!”

“Look, I just asked her once, alright?” Adrien ran his fingers anxiously through his hair. “When she came to visit me that one night, when we played video games together, I asked her.” He watched her expression to see if she believed it, wishing he had remembered that excuse sooner.

Nodding in relent, she said, “Fine. But if you keep coming to me with all this information about Ladybug, I might start believing your joke about being Chat. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your ring.”

Adrien felt himself pale. “I’m monitored at all times, I couldn’t be Chat Noir if I wanted to be.”

“Sure. Now.” She pointed to their four suspects. “Alix has pink hair. Marinette loves pink. Oscar’s backpack is pink. Louise, though...I think I overheard her saying that she hates every color that isn’t green.”

Adrien crossed out Louise’s face with a red marker. “One suspect down, I guess.” One person closer to finding his Lady.

\- - -

Tikki looked worriedly between Marinette and her computer screen. Marinette’s eyes were trained intently on the video, watching it for a fourth time. She paused at every new group of people and sat closer to the screen, scanning faces for her kitty.

“Marinette,” Tikki said gently, floating between Marinette and the screen, breaking her focus. “You and Chat Noir can’t know anything about each other. He should never have told you that he was in this video. I can let it go that you told him your favorite color, but you need to stop looking.”

Sitting back, Marinette crossed her arms. “But _why,_ Tikki? ‘To keep us safe,’ I know, but there have been times where it’s significantly more dangerous to _not_ know each other’s identities. And it’s not like I’ll actually figure out who Chat Noir is from this video.” Her eyes flicked to the screen. “Unless…” She scooted closer and squinted at a blond wearing a Ladybug mask. “That’s Oscar. And his hair looks... _incredibly_ like Chat Noir’s…”

Tikki sighed, defeatedly sinking to the desk. “Oh, Marinette. Please be careful.”

\- - -

**BONUS**

Monday morning started normally for Oscar. He walked to school with his younger sister, hung out at his locker and waited for his friends to arrive so they could discuss the trailer for the new game in their favorite series. It was in the time he was waiting, however, he felt that something was off. That someone was watching him.

He scanned the students with his back to his locker, trying to find the source of the feeling. His eyes landed on the representative of the Akuma class (affectionately named as such because nearly every member had been Akumatized). When she saw him catch her staring, she quickly averted her gaze, slipping back around the corner to her locker. Oscar sighed, hoping that the girl notorious for stalking Adrien Agreste hadn’t found a new object of interest.

Yet as she left him alone, the feeling of being watched didn’t fade. Confused, Oscar scanned the crowd again, hunching his shoulders in on himself. This wasn’t a fun feeling at all. What was going on?

Speak of the devil, Adrien Agreste himself was peeking at him from the end of the line of lockers.

“What are you _doing_?” Oscar demanded, taking a step toward Adrien. “Why are you guys watching me? Is this some sort of prank?”

Adrien’s eyebrows shot up and he took a half step back before calmly approaching Oscar. “Sorry, didn’t mean to creep you out. I, uh...I was just admiring your shirt. You know, it’s the model in me, with my dad being a fashion designer and all…” He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously.

Oscar looked down at what he was wearing, a simple dark blue flannel over a grey tee. “...Thanks.”

“It complements your pink backpack really well.”

“Are you feeling okay?” He couldn’t stop the question from tumbling out of his mouth. “This is just a normal flannel. Not something I’d think a kid raised in high fashion would compliment.”

Adrien leaned on the lockers. “Well, you know, high fashion can be pretty ridiculous. Sometimes it’s nice to admire the ordinary. Tell me, Oscar, what’s your favorite color?”

“Pink,” he replied, backing away. “Look, I’m gonna go to my classroom and wait for school to start. You, uh, go appreciate normalcy.” He turned and walked to his classroom as quickly as he could without running, passing a still-staring Marinette along the way. He hoped this would stop soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you enjoyed my silly little fic. Stay tuned for Ninette week, starting tomorrow!
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at little-red-alchemist-of-doom if you want to come say hi!


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